"I don't smoke, but I try to watch what i eat"

"I don't smoke, but I try to watch what i eat"

2013

Jeannes going to be at reduced capacity for a couple of weeks.  That means I'm going to have to do a lot  I've never really done a lot before.  

2012

Don't get me wrong I would carry a sword around too,  just for fun.

I really think cats keep away the paranormal.

I have an elementary knowledge of economics which is really more arrogance then knowledge.

"The rat girl was like a 3" 

"I can defiantly deliver a baby, I am definitely not clean enough." 

"I know half of the words to goonies. I am 80s enough." 

"I do have a list, actually it's a short list of people that I do think are aliens."  

"My dad did everything he could to discourage me from girls."  

"I am a math guy, I don't believe in chance. "

"Did iron man and wolverine ever hang out. I bet ironman paid for the tab."

"My realtor just had me sign a whole bunch of papers.  I have no idea what they said."

Past Quotes

Clark's Harry Potter Letter.  I don't think the word 'arrogance' is used enough.  

"I may suck at everything I do, but at least I don't quit"

 "I don't do things I am not good at.  That's why I don't skateboard."

"I never joke about nuclear war." 

"She was kissing me all over my neck last night.  I wonder if she wanted to go home with me?"

" That's Okay.  Sorry your girlfriend is a slut"

"Smashing Pumpkins might be the worst band to do Karaoke to."

"There goes my theory she will date anyone."

"Most people would think that's it a bad ideal to have a bounty hunter guard your money."

"I was drunk but I still knew what was going on.  I mean I am a Jedi."

"The worst part about being a Ninja is you have no pockets."

"Its a good thing you work in Walker.  Baton Rouge would probably only be hit with a small tactical nuclear warhead, ensuring your survival"

"I feel like doing cartwheels right now"

"I better put deodorant on.  There are going to be girls riding with us"

"She wants to have two children, I want to have four.  It might not work out"

"Please don't touch me.  I will throw up."

"I am the best looking man in a tux"

"If I knew anything about girls, the last two years could have been a lot of fun."

"Brent’s not a fighter.  I am mean he still likes war."

"I save the world, I don't fight crime. There is a difference."

"Craig, does wearing this shirt make me a metrosexual?"

" I don't smoke but I try to watch what I eat."

"All right, lets see if the Aztecs want to make peace with me."

"I did not realize Outkast had so many songs that I liked."

"I am sorry about that.  Now I am going to lay out."

" I can't buy any shirts right now, I don't know if they will meet Sandy's approval."  

"I am glad I lost weight. I look pretty good in this cheerleading outfit." 

"Guys have two types of friends that are girls. Ugly ones and ones they try to sleep with." 

"By the time I return from class, my armies will be ready to go to war." 

"My mouth can take a lot more then my ass can." 

"This guy said he accidentally attacked me without knowing that I was in a war. He told me he injured his head in a skiing accident, but I don't believe him."  

"It has always bothered me that they were 4 Lethal Weapon Movies and only 3 Die Hard ones." 

"Maybe when the Marines realize I am a Jedi, they will give me an easier time."  

"The worst part about being a Ninja is you have no pockets."  

"Do you know how many times I have dropped it like it was hot or shaking it like a Polaroid picture." 

"I like Sandy now...it is nice and it doesn't yell at me." 

"I feel like Odysseus, I just want to go home." 

"I thought for sure I would be digging a hole and putting a body in it within an hour."  

"If we don't score on this drive, I am going to start drink margaritas." 

"It should be legal for consenting adults to challenge each other to a duel and fight a death match."  

"I wonder if girls like the fact that I sing along with the songs when we slow dance?" 

"I am jacked up on Tuna Fish." 

"If we grew up in a place where everyone could make out with their sister, I would not think it was wrong." 

" I could never date a girl 10 years younger then me. I would want to talk about Nintendo and she would have no ideal what I was talking about." 

"Gilmore Girls High School is a lot better then Gilmore Girls the college years" 

"My daughter is going to be a complete whore. I hope it does not start until after she is eighteen." 

"This is my favorite turn in the City of New Orleans." 

"I would not want to live in a world of all Clarks, Well actually that would be pretty cool." 

"My daughter is going to be a complete whore. I hope it does not start until after she is eighteen." 

"I am an absolute failure at everything I do, but when I walk into the bar, I still think I am the best looking guy" 

"I don't shoot Goldschlager anymore. Every time I do it, I end up making out with a fat chick." 

My girlfriend would be pretty hot if she lost some weight and that mustache. 

"You give me six guys and I could win the war on drugs. Just six guys." 

"I don't have a problem with gays getting married anymore. Straight people have messed it all up. All they want is gifts when they get married." 

"I am very disappointed in Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake" 

"There are only 2 times when a man can cry in his life, if he loses a child and when he wins the super bowl." 

"My good date story is when I had to ask the girl for money for the tip." 

"Going to work at 10am, that's not what I call rock and roll."  

"33% of children born out of wedlock. Probably because of all the life time movies." 

"Last night I dreamed I was doing sprints with Terrel Owens." 

I fall in love 3 - 4 times on a good Saturday. 

"If if died outside of sports I would be very embarrassed." 

"Besides having to tell my children that the first time I met their mother she flashed me, she is pretty awesome." 

Nothings worse then looking at a slutie looking 8 year old." 

"I don't feel bad at all. I am going to be a badass in the soup kitchen." 

"Oprah's book club has nothing on the marine corps book club." 

"If my dad was Julius Caesar then Mr. Paul would be Mark Anthony." 

"When I play drinking games I am a like socialist, I give equal drinks to everyone." 

"I think all women are complete idiots, but men are just as equally dumb " 

"It would be pretty cool to have a porn star take care of you when you are sick." 

"Do you think it's funny that I like fresh garlic instead of roasted garlic." 

"I have needed petroleum jelly for a long time now." 

"It's not like Hitler could give your personal to talk to his people." 

"She commented on my bowel movements and I was happy." 

"Out of all the elements, wind is definitely my favorite." 

"I had a dream LSU beat Alabama 21-14. The only thing that bothers me is that I made the winning touchdown."  

"Do you remember that story when I was walking around the dorm with all that porn?"

"This is ridiculous. This is just one day of hair growth. I am ridiculously growing hair. "

"I have never had a girl tell me I am unattractive." 

"Yeager is okay when your pregnant. I want my baby to have a tolerance to Yeager. "

"If I was the head coach of a football program, every weekend the movie would be star wars "

"To Clark: what year are you in? In the game or in real life?" 

"I really hope zombies take over because I think I would excel. "

"I just want some geisha to do her business.  "

"I have been watching alot of glee recently. "

"I am not into the gay scene but I know where that is." 

"Bodog does not make fun of me." 

"It's still apple to oranges but they are both in the fruit category. "

"Women think we are going to be really heart broken when they break up with us. We won't."